A ‘mothers heart’ is an amazing thing, it gives unconditionally to its own even when unaware, it is a sacrificial undercurrent flowing for decades. Many give to the child of another, when motherhood hasn’t been possible, some may have chosen not to have children, or there may have been a tragic pregnancy or child loss.
However many a ‘mother heart’ has gone quiet, withdrawn and internalised their ROAR.
I have been saddened in my own heart by the number of woman all over the world I have met as we’ve travelled and often lived in Fiji, in the main tourist area Denarau. As I wander between pools and cafes 😂🥵🤔😀, very little for me is more enjoyable than what I describe as ‘a divine appointment’ story moment. So many are away on a lovely holiday but when they stop to smell the roses or take intentional time away with family, they are reminded of the state of their heart. The feelings and experiences are similar; hurt, heartache, disappointment, grief, loss, judgement, broken dreams, low self esteem and non acceptance of their true unique and beautiful personalities. Sadly these outcomes may have even been increased or been created in part, by the very loved ones that they have put so much of their heart and soul into; partners, children, siblings, parents, friends and the workplace or church.
I’ve been in awe at how the heart conditions have no geographical, cultural or economical boundaries, they are the same worldwide. Now more than ever we are reminded of our international similarities, even unity, by a common thread – an unexpected pandemic! No matter where, what or how, let’s ask ourselves some questions over the coming weeks but don’t push or force the answer, it will come at it’s appointed moment if you are open.
Our ‘Heart-of-Hope‘ purpose designed, online ’She is Journaling’ series, a beautiful tool for writing, answering the questions and uploading photos for your reflection and memories.
Often the ‘ah ha‘ moment arrives in the most unexpected ways from a person or event, least expected. It can feel like receiving a surprise package and then taking it out of the postage packet, removing the wraping paper, the bubblewrap, opening a box, until we get to the gift on the inside. Then there is more - a card, words, encouragement, the revelation of who the sender is! How long since you’ve had that feeling or given it to another?
If we don’t stop and ask the questions, we can’t expect to discover or receive the answers. We can be frozen in our hearts and time but so often in the process of discovery, using bravery to look for the closed door and pry it open, we find a treasure! In turn live a greater life of freedom as we journey to the next door, the next room and out into the world beyond our own 4 walls. Yes it can feel scary and take effort, its so much easier to stay in our habits, shut our minds down, fill our time unintentionally with ’good’ but not ’great’ activities and even people.
Like painting a beautiful ceiling, you need to go down the ladder for the materials to bring the change. Climbing back up one small step at a time repeatedly, watching the changes evolve to reveal a new product, a refreshed home. One that has a better chance of lasting the distance, stand the test of time. Your internal ’home’ is waiting for that passion, excitement, enthusiasm, vision, faith, dream and activation, thats what can make life so exciting and full of surprises despite the difficulties. Ensuring that like the childless ‘mother heart’ we still desire or choose to give that love to another. Maybe some overdue self-care, pass it on to another, a stranger or a humanitarian cause we least expected.
When YOU stop receiving, that is the moment to dig deep, give to yourself and continue to look around you for opportunities as you move through your world. If its hard to open your heart, try something new in your home - often they reflect and encourage each other. It truly starts with the little things, or being supported through the not so little.
Your renovation check:
Are your expectations realistic?
Do you feel like you’ve done decades of giving but the treasure at the end of the rainbow wasn’t quite what you were expecting?
Do we need to change first?
How can we be accepted for who we are, without being judged by a stereo-type tag?
Have we truly let go?
Do we feel misused, controlled, abused or misjudged?
Are we willing to try something new or different?
No matter what answers you have today but particularly if you answered ‘yes’ to even one of those questions, it is always possible to choose to add to, or redefine your story. We here at Heart of Hope Spaces can be a really safe place to start if your not sure which way to turn or how to begin. Whether in your heart or home. It is never too late, impossible or unredeemable! Fight the voices in your head and heart that tell you it is. You are needed in this world, to those around you, every part makes up the whole, the leg needs the hip, they are connected and each as important as the other – for each other.
The desire and vision to resuscitate our ‘mother hearts’ may need a prod. ’Mother heart’ refers to nurture, as that is the heart and creation of ‘woman’, whether felt or not, even if it doesn’t seem like an automatic response from you. It is this simple if you are woman:
Definition of nurture is to encourage somebody or something to grow, develop, thrive and be successful
A woman's heart ❤️ is created to both receive and give: protection, care, tenderness, kindness & encouragement
Remember faith, or believing in yourself does not always start with a feeling. Maybe at some stage or rage in life, you decided to give that part of your anatomy – your vulnerable heart; a sedative, disengage become self-made? The ‘protection’ in that choice and lifestyle may only last so long, at some point your pumping woman’s heart will implode or explode out of your chest. Too many disappointments, rejections, losses, judgements and loveless relationships. Or your physical or mental health may deteriorate if too much is pushed down for too long. You can’t keep giving from an empty well, you need an outpouring of refreshing, cleansing rain. So the important questions to ask your mind and heart are:
Who has nurtured you? Has there been anyone? Is there someone now?
What feeling has that question evoked? Want to shut this blog now; reject thinking about it, want to quickly insist this is a load of rubbish and unnecessary to ponder!
Maybe you have just a slight watering of the eye, lump in throat or pain in your heart?
Suddenly your feeling tired – this is taking too much energy to focus!
Or is your default to find a task, something to keep you occupied – it feels easier?
Now be kind to yourself, look in the mirror, stare deeply into your own eyes. They are the window to your own soul (mind & heart or emotions).
Accept yourself, look intimately and discover the true condition of your heart .
Ask yourself as you follow this activity speaking to your inner child and the grown woman:
“dear little one what do we need?”
The answer won’t be forced - you’ll know in that moment.……or tomorrow.
You may not know quickly, thats ok - try this activity each week until you do, until you begin to see and accept yourself for who you truly are.
When I first tried this activity I was very self-conscious of myself, not truly knowing what I would see in my soul, there were tears flowing as I looked. However it has been powerful when I have occasionally repeated it, when I felt like there was nowhere else to go, during my most personal, deepest, grievous moments. For me I would invite God to join me, I figured He might have a better idea than me of what was really going on and why? There was a period about 8 years ago where I looked into my lovely blue but very teary eyes and I couldn’t say, the words of the beautiful famous song - ‘It is well with my soul’, it wasn’t and I stated, roared that out loud. In that action, that moment …. I owned the pain … my present truth then.
Now I can ‘Womans Heart’ ROAR those words with confidence even though there are still some things in my circumstances that haven’t changed. I re-introduced myself to me, the purposes I was born for and it truly has changed my world.
Doing this activity shows how very brave you really are. We would love you to share any of your story, anytime - hear you let out that great big ROAR 🐯 Now you look way more beautiful than the lioness at the top of this post. Your are standing, embracing the world and all that will come your way. Your are ready to soar.